I would be the biggest liar if I said I didn’t actually ugly laugh at a meme I stumbled upon on Tumblr the other day. The meme posted by a blog named dankmemeuniversity is as goes, “Friend: On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want to die? Me: [a youtube screengrab from a video titled ‘How to Count Past Infinity’ and the man in the video is looking subtly overwhelmed]”. Next, I did the most zillennial (a label for a generation of young adults who are too young to be millennials but also too embarrassed and old to be apart of generation Z) thing: I squealed “BIG MOOD!”.

This whole interaction, while it may be annoying to use internet terms in real life, seems harmless. I mean, what seems so wrong about me laying in bed, scrolling for some memes, and relating to them? “Nothing”, I thought at first, “I’m not hurting anyone”. However, when I thought about it more and more maybe there is something wrong with the fact that I would go on with my day not batting an eye that I had just excitedly proclaimed my desire for death.   

It sounds strange and seriously wrong when I put it so plainly because I’ll be the first one to tell you that I don’t actually want to die. A meme by Tumblr user, Nilihist, perfectly summarizes my and 63,973 other users’ complicated feelings about death, “me talking to my therapist: i want to die...but like….not actually just...metaphorically...as in like if u offered me immediate death and relief from my consciousness...id say yes...metaphorically...hypothetically...in a theoretical situation....in a hyperbolic manner...metaphorically speaking”. In other words, we are seeking a quick respite from our tribulations and as it twisted as it sounds, death seems like the easiest solution that many Zillennials joke about wanting. This is also known as “suicide ideation without intent”. It also reveals the state of the youth in America: As the percentage of mental illness rises so do the memes that normalize suicidal desires. That leaves me with one question: are these memes a good way to cope or a harmful way to connect?

While I will not be focusing on Zillennials who want to/have committed suicide, I feel that it is important to mention that it does happen and a lot more than you think. According to the CDC, suicide is the second leading cause of death in the US for ages 15 to 24 in 2017. Even though most of us don’t take the time to reflect on the insensitivity that suicide memes may bring, suicide will always be nothing to laugh about.  

I asked my friend, Bushra Haque, what she thought about dark or sometimes referred to as “edgy” memes which are the subcategory that deals with mental illness-related memes. In one quick switch, it was as if she had become a different person. Her face and body became stiff and grave — unusual to see for such an animated and lively person. She stuttered for a while before she put her thoughts together, “It’s an ongoing trend which is definitely rising in numbers of people.”

What started as a radical, niche meme that years ago would have made anyone upset or concerned, has now turned to an overwhelmingly popular meme in 2018. From my personal experience, I would have to agree with Haque that these memes have become trendier overtime. Even Ronin Woods, founder of a Facebook page called DEATHMEMEZ, courtesy of Mic.com agrees, “In the past year especially, I’ve seen death memes increasing more. Before they were more posted on places like 4chan and Reddit and places where stuff starts, but now I’ve seen them move onto broader social media and Facebook.”

The percentage of mental illnesses has also steadily risen. SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) concluded that “percentages of young adults aged 18 to 25 in 2017 who had AMI [any mental illness] or SMI [serious mental illness] were greater than the corresponding percentages in each year from 2008 to 2016”. 

Even more alarming, Jesse Singal claims, “Ever since the 1930s, young people in America have reported feeling increasingly anxious and depressed” in her article, “For 80 Years, Young Americans Have Been Getting More Anxious and Depressed, and No One Is Quite Sure Why”. It’s scary to know that young adults have been feeling this way for a long time and that the numbers are only getting worse. So is it a coincidence that the number of young adults that joke that they “want to die” seems to correlate with the same rate that mental illnesses are rising? 

You can get a quick response from almost anyone that our current President is to blame. They’ll probably tell you that its the virulent racism from other Americans that has come with his presidency or rescinding DACA, terrifying “build the wall” discussions, and I could really go on forever. 

Others will blame it on financial stress: tuition cost, rent, and the five-dollar coffee Zillennials contemplate buying. We can’t afford anything and go into debt trying to pursue higher education so that we can afford anything. 

NPR’s Katherine Hobson directs us to Brian Primack’s study, “Social Media Use and Perceived Social Isolation Among Young Adults in the U.S.” to offer another possible contribution to the rise of mental illness. Hobson writes, “‘You might watch all these interactions where it seems like everyone else is connecting,’ he [Primack] says. That could lead to feeling excluded. The images of other people's seemingly perfect vacations, homes, and lives, even though those are not likely to represent reality, can make you feel like you're missing out.” It could make you feel like you’re not accomplishing anything or feel like you’re not where you’re supposed to be when you see a 19-year-old on Instagram with a mansion in Los Angeles. 

“Identity Dimensions and Related Processes in Emerging Adulthood: Helpful or Harmful?” by Ritchie et al. suggests that mental health issues are a part of growing up, “In many cases, emerging adulthood is marked by a sense of anomie, confusion, and distress about where one's life is headed (Luyckx, Schwartz, Goossens, et al., 2008) and a drastic increase in the onset of major depression (Arnett, 2007).” Young adults are overwhelmed by the questions after high school. What do they want to do when they get out of college? Will they have a decent paying job? Will they be able to pay off their loans? Which major will they stick with for four years? 

One of my friends who attends UCLA has changed his major three times. He bounced from Film to Econ to Sociology and last time we spoke, he indicated that he was probably going to change it again. I’ve done my fair share of teasing him about it but in reality, it was understandable of him to change his mind like that. To ask young adults to settle on one major and decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives is overwhelming, stressful, and unfair. It’s not surprising that it could lead to anxiety and even depression. 

In summary, there is a multitude of reasons why “In 2017, an estimated 46.6 million adults aged 18 or older (18.9 percent) had any mental illness (AMI) in the past year” (SAMHSA, 2018). This seems to go hand in hand with the rise of edgy memes. More people are going through a tough time so more memes about our issues are popping up and therefore, the normalization of these memes begin. 

But is it all that bad? I mean, is the normalization completely insensitive and dangerous for young adults? The begging and obvious answer is to say that “yes, it is” and case closed. Gladys Koscak — a psychologist working at our mental health services center at UCSB — states, “that ability to connect or have someone understand what you’re feeling by agreeing that a meme is ‘too real’ or something like that, it still doesn’t offer a response or a way to get past those feelings. The internet can be a very difficult place for someone that is already struggling... Even darker and more dangerous are the trolls that will respond with encouragement for people to follow through with suicidal ideation.” Koscak continued to explain to me that people don’t understand that the memes are not only insensitive for individuals with suicidal thoughts or actions but those who have lost someone to suicide.

Xochilt Khoury, a friend who attends UCSD, uses her serious voice to illustrate her dislike for these memes, “I think dark/edgy memes are cool to an extent. When they joke about suicide, death, and depression though, I think that crosses a line. These are real things people struggle with, and suicide is not a joke.” She expresses her concern for these memes with nervous shifting in her seat and an uncomfortable look on her face as if I had just asked her to poke her eyes out, “It is more normalized to hear the word [suicide] now because of memes, but for me, the word has not lost meaning.”   

It’s evident that none of my fellow Zillennials love talking about suicide. It’s an uncomfortable conversation to have and I will admit that I was nervous myself to ask questions about these kinds of memes. Many of them answered my questions with responses that sounded like they weren’t sure of their personal experiences. Khoury even added at the end, “I hope I don’t sound harsh or anything.” 

However, there are some good outcomes from these awkward interviews about dark humor and suicide and it’s that we were able to talk about an overlooked topic. The normalization of these memes has also made it easier for young adults to talk about the once-taboo topics of mental health. If you had asked me to talk about suicide with my friends five years ago, you probably couldn’t even get me to say the word out loud. Now, it’s a lot more acceptable to bring it up especially in meme form.  

Bell Curtis, a mentee of mine who attends UCI, informs me that, “Memes have definitely made it easier to talk about mental health, especially among peers”. The happy-go-lucky student further noted, “my friends and I often send each other memes relating to mental health”.  

Gladys Koscak echoes Curtis and provides why we are drawn to them, “Memes offer a way to sort of externalize your experience and have it be summed up in one single picture or phrase. It can help things feel more digestible and almost socially acceptable as opposed to talking from a more personal or vulnerable stance.” 

The comments under these memes are not as somber as you think and disclose the compassionate attitude that young adults have acquired in this new age of trigger warnings and “daily reminders to stay hydrated”. One blogger, earthzero, writes under the meme by nihilist, “if you want to talk to someone, https://www.imalive.org/ can help you better than I can. Stay safe. Please.” 

Other comments are users relating to the meme and sharing their experiences about “suicide without intention”. One can say that memes bring people together. That’s what social media platforms were meant to do and now they’re doing it in a way that can benefit a lot of young people. Also, to have the number of people (63,973 as mentioned before) presented before you could make you feel less alone. Curtis concurs with this and explains that when she sees a meme she can relate to, she feels a bit better knowing she isn’t the only one. Koscak also supports the idea that memes combat isolation, “mental health concerns often come with the thought that they are the only person struggling with that specific thing — depression, anxiety, social anxiety, etc. — so being able to make something so relatable and have people react to it can feel incredibly satisfying and supportive.”

Here, I pose my question again: are these memes a good way to cope or a harmful way to connect? Koscak answers, “In many ways, I think it has helped to normalize the struggles with mental health but it has a long way to go before it can truly serve as a way to get help” and I agree with her because somehow she has managed to put into words the good side and the ugly side of edgy memes. I am curious to see the progression of memes in mental health spaces and hope that they continue to make mental illness and suicide conversations accessible and comfortable to talk about.  

*

My last request to my friends during the interviews was “tell me how much of a mood this meme is” and showed them the meme with the youtube screengrab I mentioned in my introduction. 

Xochilt Khoury responded, “In terms of suffering, it is a mood during finals. But in terms of actual death, not at all.” 

Bushra Haque responded, “Mood! 12/10. Deadass.”  

Bell Curtis responded, “That is a FAT mood especially with finals week and I’m gonna send you a meme I made that could be relevant to your topic.” 

I opened Snapchat to discover a screenshot of a youtube video titled, “The Try Guys Try Not To Laugh Challenge”. The video is paused at a moment where Zach Cornfield is laughing his head off and Eugene Yang is looking concerned. She wrote black text on Cornfield that reads, “me, making jokes about suicide/depression” and black text on Eugene that reads, “my friends who have a legitimate concern for my wellbeing”. 

In this day and age, it’s pretty easy to make personalized, relatable memes. 

Sources

Hobson, Katherine. “Feeling Lonely? Too Much Time On Social Media May Be Why.” NPR, NPR, 6 Mar. 2017, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/03/06/518362255/feeling-lonely-too-much-time-on-social-media-may-be-why.

Lorenz, Taylor. “Why Does Everyone on the Internet Want to Die? How Suicide Memes Took over the Web.” Mic, Mic Network Inc., 11 July 2017, mic.com/articles/181752/why-does-everyone-on-the-internet-want-to-die-how-death-memes-took-over-the-web#.FQdLOjrlA.

“Mental Health.” Youth.gov, US Gov, youth.gov/youth-topics/youth-mental-health/prevalance-mental-health-disorders-among-youth.

Ritchie, Rachel A., et al. “Identity Dimensions and Related Processes in Emerging Adulthood: Helpful or Harmful?” Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 69, no. 4, 2013, pp. 415–432., doi:10.1002/jclp.21960.

Singal, Jesse. “For 80 Years, Young Americans Have Been Getting More Anxious and Depressed.” The Cut, New York Magazine, 14 Mar. 2016, www.thecut.com/2016/03/for-80-years-young-americans-have-been-getting-more-anxious-and-depressed.html.

“Suicide.” National Institute of Mental Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml.

United States, Congress, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, et al. “SAMHSA.” SAMHSA, SAMHSA, 2018. www.samhsa.gov/data/report/2017-nsduh-annual-national-report.